11 days before the winter solstice

In North America, the energy in the northern climes between Halloween and the winter solstice is very much quickly descending down into the earth. It’s difficult to know what to do with oneself after the sun sets at 430/5 pm. I want to let myself go with gravity and lie supine by the wood stove and listen to stories.

How about the one in which Persephone, the daughter of the mother goddess Demeter was abducted by Hades the Lord of the Underworld? He burst forth from a crack in the rocks, a blaze of darkness riding a chariot. He wisked her away down under the crust before she knew who her opponent was. He tricked Persephone into eating 6 pomegranate seeds, which binds her to the Underworld for 6 months of every year. Demeter, her mother, is filled with despair and rage! During the time her daughter is committed to her contract with Hades, Demeter lets the life drain out of the plants. It becomes difficult for all the animals and humans to survive. I want to sit by the fire with Demeter. Where is she? What does she do with her grief and rage? We can see the absence of her energy in purposeful work. But where is she when she is not working?

What wisdom can we glean from this cyclic pattern?

This week at work, I have had the honour of sitting with a woman about to terminate a pregnancy she does not have the resources to carry forth. I have also celebrated the good news of a long awaited pregnancy, and listened for the restraint in joy lest it be all for naught and end with the familiar signs of menstruation. It sounds like a metal spoon scraping around the edge of a bowl. Just waiting. I have sat with an elder / grand mother cry over her brutal upbringing from her Victorian era mother. Marveling at the ongoing nature of coming to terms with abuse and trauma. This week I have also sat with a woman sandwiched between the responsibility of being the primary earner while caring for aging parents and young children. There is no space for her in her life right now, except when she comes to my office.

Together we sit With the pain.

My work is to connect these pains into a cohesion, a quilt illustrating all the ways we experience dissonance. All of these women have pain we can imagine. The contours and the textures; and yet all pain is so subjective we can never really know what it is like to walk in our neighbor’s shoes. It is both at the same time. Universal and Unique. Like snowflakes.

Together in my office, we locate the source of strength and stability at the center of our bodies, and anchor this place to the earth. Then what I call “the field” opens up and there is space for the soul to meet the dissonance with the bird’s eye view. I am the witness. I feel the emotion … the tone, tenure, tenor and the truth. We greet this space as we greet the dawn. Another cycle.

This winter solstice is my 51st and I understand the pattern better now. Soon the downward “free-fall” energy will stabilize and so will we. The snow will cover the earth, and we will muster ourselves to get out and exercise and gather together to remember the sunshine. And in a few months, Demeter will return to her purposeful work. The sap will rise again.